As we were discussing Socrate's Allegory of the cave in class, a thought made its way into my mind : The only thing I have seen all my life are distorted shadows. Information can be found anywhere, yet we rely more on Google than on our fellow humans; People are talking louder than they ever did, yet we are deafer than we ever were; You can see your family right in your hand, on your smartphone, but you end up kissing the air at the end of the conversation; People are rushing all the time to go to their jobs and then they are rushing again to go home and get some rest, because they have a job to go to in the morning. When everything is speeding so much, how often do you actually make time to stop and truly look someone in the eyes, how often do you actually hold someone's hand without thinking of important things you have to do later on? If I don't have time to truly see you for what you are, if you don't have time to stop from rushing and stand in front of me completely undressed of your lies and masks, aren't we all just distorted shadows of what we were meant to be?
We are the generation who forgot how to feel and we damn right take pride in that! The thing I seem to hear more often from people my age is "I have no feelings", as if not having feelings is the pursuit of happiness! I am a freaking robot, nothing and no one can touch me, we seem to be screaming out loud, but why do we have to assume that everyone around us wants to do us harm?
I, too, used to think that about myself; that I was a strong girl and little could hurt me; That it is impossible to see right through somebody's soul just by looking them in the eyes; That holding hands is a simple, distant act, not one of the most intimate and beautiful acts humans can experience. Then, I meet a boy who managed to break my ice-cold heart into millions of pieces, I met a boy who shook all my layers of indiference and coldness and left me completely alone, naked, crying, confused, with no beliefs whatsoever because everything I thought was true about life had been shattered. I met a boy who left me with absolutely nothing but millions of strange feelings I thought I was immune to, so I didn't have the faintest idea how to deal with them.
Shivering alone in the darkness of my heart, I needed to build everything all over again; If before I had the tendency to believe the best in people and in men, in particular, what should I think now? Should I think that everything they all want is sex and I might as well just hide myself in my room until the end of time? Should I think they are all lying bastards who would do anything to get into a girl's pants? And if I did think that, wouldn't that make me scared all the time, wouldn't I just be sabotaging my own hard efforts to escape from fear?
Then, the most beautiful lyrics from a song made their way into my mind: "There's no future, there's no past/ Beating hearts are all we have.", and I had a sudden realization: maybe trying to cover myself in as many layers of beliefs as possible had always been the wrong move; Maybe I should take advantage of the fact that my convictions had been smashed and erased and maybe I shouldn't try to produce new ones; Maybe it would be easier for me to walk in life uncovered of ideas and preconceptions; naked. Exposed. Learn that the present is more important than anything else; Learn that the past is a movie, indeed, but a movie no one has recorded, so it can never be replayed. Learn that YOU, from this very second is a complete different person than YOU from just seconds ago, accept that seconds can change everything; Accept that HE from days ago loved you, while today's HE can smash you for no reason and don't ask yourself which version of him is the real one: they are both as true as they can get. Wake up every morning as if you just started a new life, be amazed every day by the people in your life, even though some of them you might see daily. Accept that if he said he loved you yesterday, it was true, if he didn't love you anymore the next day, it's because billions of things have changed.
If everything is so unstable, at the end of the day, you might ask yourself: Is there any consistency in all of this? Yes. At the end of the day, our hearts are still beating.
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