“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)”
― Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
If you have watched the movie, you might have come across this awesome quote and reflect upon it just a little bit; If you have read the book - as I did - you definitely read this and realized how accurate it is and thought of the so-called "cool girls" you know.
The way I see it, I am the most common NOT cool girl you will ever meet: I don't care about football or poker, I find it embarrassing to burp, video games don't appeal to me whatsoever and I don't have to tell you what I think of threesomes or anal sex. (I mean, there is obviously a reason why it's called "shit hole" and not "dick hole", right?) But then again, as a NOT cool girl, not only do I rely on my intellect the most, but I also feel threatened by the cool girl. Why? Because I know she is adorable to every man around her; she is adorable even to myself, as much as I would like to hate her.
Who is she, exactly? Well - I will describe her to you.
1) She likes to eat. A lot. If you came from Mars and knew nothing about food, you will end up believing that yes, indeed, eating kilos of chocolate and dozens of burgers per day is the one and only key to an awesome body. And, boy, she is hot and she looks even hotter to you than all those good-looking girls who eat only two leafs of salad/day. I mean, isn't it so much better and less troublesome to go out on a date at the local fast food and eat shit lots of cheap unhealthy food than going to a fancy restaurant and having to listen to her complaining about how they put caloric dressing in her minuscule portion of salad? My theory: That Cool girl is either one of those lucky specimens who can eat everything and not get fat (which is less likely) or she just eats in public only. Just for men to see her. How she shoves food down her throat with no difficulty. How she can shove everything down her throat with no difficulty.
2) You can call her whatever you want to call her and you can tell her whatever you want - she won't mind, she will not get mad, she totally agrees with you all the time, because this is what cool girls do, don't they? For example: if your Cool Girl is blonde and you will tell her how blonde girls are dumb and brainless, her answer will be: "Yes, of course, I am dumb" and she will giggle as if you just told her the joke of the year. Au contraire, if you had told me that when I was blonde, I will feel offended: not because I actually give a fuck about what you think, but because I am a girl who hates stereotypes and feels offended by them, even tough I might not be the target of one. You know. A girl who uses her brain, nothing more.
3) She will flirt with everyone everywhere, not giving a damn about their relationship status, not even caring if the girlfriend/wife is around, and you, the NOT COOL girl, might think that she has a particular interest in your man, but soon you will realize you are mistaken: if she actually wanted your man, she will not like you, but she talks to you the same way she does with him. The same way she does with every man. In the room. In the city. In the whole freaking world. She is basically screaming out loud "Go ahead, you can rub yourself against me, I don't mind if you have a wife and three kids at home, I don't mind if you never call afterwards, I am all about F-U-N!
4) She is all about fun, indeed and she just seems like she is never sad, she is never in pain, never having PMS like the rest of us, never getting horrible headaches. Just think about it: if you know a girl who never said: "I don't feel well today, I am really tired" or "I don't feel well today, I got the most terrible cramps!", then that girl is most likely a COOL girl! Of course she has to be that way - a cool girl is not that selfish to actually have problems of her own, her one and only purpose is to satisfy all your needs (and the needs of the other billions men on the planet!) and you might be silly enough to think that somehow she doesn't even menstruate or, if she does, it's a quite undetectable period that will not stop you from getting your satisfaction! You know - because this planet spins around your sexual desires and only!
I know her, you know her, everyone knows her, you can't possibly think that your man doesn't want her since you, yourself, have no other option that to acknowledge how hot she is! So - what should you do if you, just like me, are also a NOT COOL girl who likes to use her brain and hopes that, despite general beliefs, men can be driven by something else besides sex?
1. Relax. It may sound as a cliche to you, but he will love you just to way you are and consider that this comes from a freaking psycho like myself. If I could find an awesome guy who can be there for me when I have PMS and all I want is to commit suicide by over-eating frozen yogurt, so can you. Have a little faith, will you?
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)”
― Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
If you have watched the movie, you might have come across this awesome quote and reflect upon it just a little bit; If you have read the book - as I did - you definitely read this and realized how accurate it is and thought of the so-called "cool girls" you know.
The way I see it, I am the most common NOT cool girl you will ever meet: I don't care about football or poker, I find it embarrassing to burp, video games don't appeal to me whatsoever and I don't have to tell you what I think of threesomes or anal sex. (I mean, there is obviously a reason why it's called "shit hole" and not "dick hole", right?) But then again, as a NOT cool girl, not only do I rely on my intellect the most, but I also feel threatened by the cool girl. Why? Because I know she is adorable to every man around her; she is adorable even to myself, as much as I would like to hate her.
Who is she, exactly? Well - I will describe her to you.
1) She likes to eat. A lot. If you came from Mars and knew nothing about food, you will end up believing that yes, indeed, eating kilos of chocolate and dozens of burgers per day is the one and only key to an awesome body. And, boy, she is hot and she looks even hotter to you than all those good-looking girls who eat only two leafs of salad/day. I mean, isn't it so much better and less troublesome to go out on a date at the local fast food and eat shit lots of cheap unhealthy food than going to a fancy restaurant and having to listen to her complaining about how they put caloric dressing in her minuscule portion of salad? My theory: That Cool girl is either one of those lucky specimens who can eat everything and not get fat (which is less likely) or she just eats in public only. Just for men to see her. How she shoves food down her throat with no difficulty. How she can shove everything down her throat with no difficulty.
2) You can call her whatever you want to call her and you can tell her whatever you want - she won't mind, she will not get mad, she totally agrees with you all the time, because this is what cool girls do, don't they? For example: if your Cool Girl is blonde and you will tell her how blonde girls are dumb and brainless, her answer will be: "Yes, of course, I am dumb" and she will giggle as if you just told her the joke of the year. Au contraire, if you had told me that when I was blonde, I will feel offended: not because I actually give a fuck about what you think, but because I am a girl who hates stereotypes and feels offended by them, even tough I might not be the target of one. You know. A girl who uses her brain, nothing more.
3) She will flirt with everyone everywhere, not giving a damn about their relationship status, not even caring if the girlfriend/wife is around, and you, the NOT COOL girl, might think that she has a particular interest in your man, but soon you will realize you are mistaken: if she actually wanted your man, she will not like you, but she talks to you the same way she does with him. The same way she does with every man. In the room. In the city. In the whole freaking world. She is basically screaming out loud "Go ahead, you can rub yourself against me, I don't mind if you have a wife and three kids at home, I don't mind if you never call afterwards, I am all about F-U-N!
4) She is all about fun, indeed and she just seems like she is never sad, she is never in pain, never having PMS like the rest of us, never getting horrible headaches. Just think about it: if you know a girl who never said: "I don't feel well today, I am really tired" or "I don't feel well today, I got the most terrible cramps!", then that girl is most likely a COOL girl! Of course she has to be that way - a cool girl is not that selfish to actually have problems of her own, her one and only purpose is to satisfy all your needs (and the needs of the other billions men on the planet!) and you might be silly enough to think that somehow she doesn't even menstruate or, if she does, it's a quite undetectable period that will not stop you from getting your satisfaction! You know - because this planet spins around your sexual desires and only!
I know her, you know her, everyone knows her, you can't possibly think that your man doesn't want her since you, yourself, have no other option that to acknowledge how hot she is! So - what should you do if you, just like me, are also a NOT COOL girl who likes to use her brain and hopes that, despite general beliefs, men can be driven by something else besides sex?
1. Relax. It may sound as a cliche to you, but he will love you just to way you are and consider that this comes from a freaking psycho like myself. If I could find an awesome guy who can be there for me when I have PMS and all I want is to commit suicide by over-eating frozen yogurt, so can you. Have a little faith, will you?
2. There is a reason why these girls will always be just "cool girls" and almost never become wives. As nice as it feels to have a hot girl who always agrees with you and who doesn't mind that side of you who just wants to watch porn all day and play computer games, almost all guys realize there is no potential future with this girl. The ideal beauty of delicate, in desperate need of protection women is over-rated. Men want to be challenged. Men want to have a reason to become better, men want to have a reason to shave and shower. Besides, cool girls can only be cool girls for so long; are they still cool girls when they reach 40? No. They probably just become MILFS, which is just pathetic and sad.
3. Most importantly, regardless of how badly you are in love and how much you think your life is pointless without him, don't ever try to be a COOL GIRL. Pretending to be something you are not is never a great idea, it never lasts and most likely you are the one who will end up hurt.
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