Sweet dreams

   Throughout the years, you learn that, sometimes, Acceptance is your best friend; Letting go is your second best friend.   Making assumptions is your most fierceful enemy.    Those nights when you would crawl in your sleep, sweating and shivering alone, in the dark, were not love. They were exactly the product of the absence of love.   In time, you learn to accept that loving yourself is not a cliche, but the best investment you can make; You realize that all those relationship didn't fail because they didn't love you , but rather because you were unable to receive their love.    You reach 25 and you become less ashamed to admit you are an outsider; a loner; that you can count on your fingers the people you trust with your secret and your time. That you fear being abandoned and dread intimacy. As a result, the closer they get, the further away you run. And you know it's ok because this is who you are. You find shelter within yourself and hide there; if you are alone,

Yes , yes, yes, I know - you, just like many others (I hate to burst your bubble, but you are not the only one completely despising this day!) think that Valentine's day is a commercial celebration designed to make rich people even richer and poor people - well - even poorer. True, true, true. And if you know me a tiny bit, you would know that not only do I think it's huge horse shit, but I am also proud to say I have never celebrated this day. Why? 1. Well. In my previous relationship, I was, every once in a while, surprised with flowers and/or chocolate, regardless of the day of the year. 14th February, 9th of May or 12th of August - if he loves me, he shows it, regardless. 2. Flowers are nice (I ADORE flowers, I am not the punk gothic emo some people think I am - or maybe I used to be back in high school.) Chocolate is adorable, but these don't really matter much. Of course, they are small gestures that will melt my soft heart - but it's actually what he does every

   When I turned 24, I had this idea of writing a letter to my future self. If I recall correctly, it wasn't exactly on my birthday that I had this thought, though - on my birthday, which only happened half a year ago, I was still innocent as a new born. Then, not even two months later, hell unleashed and my life changed in matters I could have never foreseen. I woke up on 1th of January 2016 realizing that 2015 was a year charged with so many changes that I ended up laughing while I was checking my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't capable of identifying myself with my past - few were the moments that felt real up until this point, I was sure my life had been a movie I once saw and I truly connected with, yet I could not remember much of it. Like that Mr. Nobody  movie, that resonated so much with my soul. I realized I lost every trace of steadiness I once fought so hard for : I spent Christmas (one of most important days of the year, let's not forget that while I am