Reasons why I am so much looking forward to fifty shades of "I am so incredibly hot, smart, rich, gentle that I can only be a fictional character."

 *Caution: this post contains between 10 to 20 times the word "porn".
  At first, I was somehow trying to hide it - I mean, it is just a book, but reading it in a public place sort of feels like you're watching porn in public (do you know how sometimes you're using your laptop in public places and you type a link really fast so stupid Chrome doesn't show your porn history? :D no? You don't? ) Somehow - I felt all eyes staring at me - look at her, she reads Fifty shades, she must be a single mom who hasn't had some actions in ages! Then, whenever I was in a place where people we're talking about it, I was reluctant if I should admit that yeeeees, I have read Fifty shades and I freaking fell in love with mister Grey a thousand times! I never wanted to be seen as the typical type of girl - shallow and obsessed with make up, shoes and clothes; That girl was never me - partially because of my own choice, partially out of necessity. I somehow doubt things would still be the same if I were truly beautiful - not that I consider myself ugly, just normal. So, instead of just being one of the millions normal looking girls there are, I made the obvious decision to be one of the (probably still millions!) smart girls.
The typical girl would read Fifty Shades, not me. Therefore, the dilemma; but as it happens a lot these days, I have to admit that despite fighting with trees as a kid (rough martial arts training, don't even ask!) and using make up only on special days, I am nevertheless a girl.
For the first time in my life, not only do I look forward to Valentines day, but I also have made plans!!! Those plans involve watching porn on huge screen, of course!

  So, if I was so prejudiced against it, how come I read it, you might wonder! Well, not only have I read two books and a half, but I also bought all three. [That's the mysterious way I like to spend my money; I am crazy about books - as in, PAPER books, not electronic ones, I could trade porn for books at any given time and it would have the same effect - if you know what I mean ;) ]  The simple truth is I was curious: I am not that picky about my books, I usually read everything, my one and only rule is that if I happen to come across a book which doesn't appeal to me whatsoever, I bury it behind many others books, never to be opened again, never to be discussed again. [just as if it was a man whom I kiss while being drunk!]  I have come across this rule when 16 years old me tried so hard to digest Great expectations: Some great guy once said that there are so many books out there that you won't even live enough to read everything there is written for your tastes, why bother with books you don't like, then? So - I was curious to see what this Fifty Shades trilogy that everyone is talking about is and, moreover, I was really interested in finding out how can a PORN have around 1500 pages, when the average porn has, well, 4-5 lines?!

  After a couple of pages, you know exactly everything there is to know: a silly uninteresting young girl falls for vicious super-rich/handsome/built-up/sexy/sweet/smart/gentle/loving/attractive/compassionate/generous/excellent in bed/and I can go on by adding all the positive adjectives there exist in English, but I am pretty sure you get the point by now. Mr. Grey is definitely not your average looking/smart dude; Mr. Grey is anything but average, Mr. Grey is everything about extremes (to give you an idea, not only was his biological mother a drug-addict whore who wasn't capable to feed her son, but he was also adopted by super-rich parents. Not only were his adopted parents super-rich, but he actually said "Fuck it, I am Mr.Grey, I can just open my own business without any help from my super-rich parents and make it to Forbes magazine anyway!") In love life, same thing: one moment he loves her like she was a freaking under-nourished child, the next moment he loves her as if they were two characters from - well, now I will say the word again - a porn movie. 

 For me, Fifty Shades felt pretty much as Great expectations. (now I can hear some people wanting to behead me for this awful resemblance!) They don't have anything in common, of course, except the fact they were both a torture to me; I had to finish the later for my English class and I had to finish the first for my own curiosity and secret hope that something will happen. There is no action whatsoever in Fifty Shades - imagine 1500 pages about a love story that literally has no impediments, whatsoever, mixed with, well, the P word. Then what's the exact reason why it has become so famous and people - probably just women - read it everywhere? 

  MR GREY. We are all, deep inside, romantics; We may not dream of Prince Charming coming on a white horse to take us away anymore, but we still long for that perfect man that will make everything feel right. Mr. Grey is nothing but a modern perverted version of the old Prince Charming; He is irremediably damaged, yet he keeps on hoping; He could have any gorgeous woman out there, yet he chooses the most banal girl; He is incredibly busy, yet he always has time to text, he always finds time to be there for you; In a way, you could say that Grey is the perfect man that every woman dreams about, the perfect man that can't possibly exist, but - if you take a closer look - isn't he just your average guy? Isn't your guy the one that manages somehow to make it alright in the end?