Sweet dreams

Cateva lucruri pe care masina mea le-ar spune daca as vorbi (thank God it doesn't!): 1. Girl, stiu ca n-au trecut decat 3 luni si stiu ca esti saraca, dar poate intr-una din zilele astea imi faci si mie un exterior decent. Poate renunti la pizza saptamana viitoare?  2. Nu mai spera sa ploua, ploaia nu ma spala. 3. Wow, ti-ai vopsit radacinile? Super, iti sta bine. Ca tot vorbim despre vopsit, mai tii minte cand erai la inceput si inca faceai “parcari prin atingere”? Pe care inca le mai faci, ca doar esti f emeie. (Da, sunt o masina misogina, cum ar trebui sa fiu dupa ce te-am ascultat timp de aproape un deceniu injurand femei in trafic?) In fine, nu vreau sa te presez, dar au trecut 9 ani si ploaia tot nu a sters zgaraieturile, cum aparent credeai tu. 4. Foarte urat din partea lui ca ti-a taiat calea, insa simt ca de fapt nu asta te-a suparat, ci faptul ca ti-a amintit de o problema fundamentala din copilaria ta. Aaa scuze, nu asta vroiai de la mine? Credeam ca vrei sa iti fiu t

   Throughout the years, you learn that, sometimes, Acceptance is your best friend; Letting go is your second best friend.   Making assumptions is your most fierceful enemy.    Those nights when you would crawl in your sleep, sweating and shivering alone, in the dark, were not love. They were exactly the product of the absence of love.   In time, you learn to accept that loving yourself is not a cliche, but the best investment you can make; You realize that all those relationship didn't fail because they didn't love you , but rather because you were unable to receive their love.    You reach 25 and you become less ashamed to admit you are an outsider; a loner; that you can count on your fingers the people you trust with your secret and your time. That you fear being abandoned and dread intimacy. As a result, the closer they get, the further away you run. And you know it's ok because this is who you are. You find shelter within yourself and hide there; if you are alone,

Yes , yes, yes, I know - you, just like many others (I hate to burst your bubble, but you are not the only one completely despising this day!) think that Valentine's day is a commercial celebration designed to make rich people even richer and poor people - well - even poorer. True, true, true. And if you know me a tiny bit, you would know that not only do I think it's huge horse shit, but I am also proud to say I have never celebrated this day. Why? 1. Well. In my previous relationship, I was, every once in a while, surprised with flowers and/or chocolate, regardless of the day of the year. 14th February, 9th of May or 12th of August - if he loves me, he shows it, regardless. 2. Flowers are nice (I ADORE flowers, I am not the punk gothic emo some people think I am - or maybe I used to be back in high school.) Chocolate is adorable, but these don't really matter much. Of course, they are small gestures that will melt my soft heart - but it's actually what he does every

   When I turned 24, I had this idea of writing a letter to my future self. If I recall correctly, it wasn't exactly on my birthday that I had this thought, though - on my birthday, which only happened half a year ago, I was still innocent as a new born. Then, not even two months later, hell unleashed and my life changed in matters I could have never foreseen. I woke up on 1th of January 2016 realizing that 2015 was a year charged with so many changes that I ended up laughing while I was checking my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't capable of identifying myself with my past - few were the moments that felt real up until this point, I was sure my life had been a movie I once saw and I truly connected with, yet I could not remember much of it. Like that Mr. Nobody  movie, that resonated so much with my soul. I realized I lost every trace of steadiness I once fought so hard for : I spent Christmas (one of most important days of the year, let's not forget that while I am

  You told me Boulevard of Broken Dreams was the freaking anthem for outsiders. I got a bit pissed, showed you the middle finger, but then, I had no other choice than admit to myself - yes, I have always been an outsider.    People think I am taking pride in being an outsider and they couldn't be more right. We talk about gay and gay pride - how pride and happy and joyful gay people were when they finally felt free to come out of the closet. Similar to that, we have "introversion pride" - when, for your whole your life, people made you feel ashamed for prefering to be alone or with a small group of friends than surrounded by many unknown people and then, all of a sudden, everyone acknowledges introverts, you take pride in that. Yes, I am an introverted - no, it does not mean I hate people, nor does it mean I am shy. What it means is that, despite learning a lot from and also enjoying to some extent social interactions, we, introverts, unlike extroverts, recharge our ene

   Man, 2015 was a really peculiar year and I haven't even managed to make my resolutions! (Yes, I, too, suffer from the chronic disease most youth do - procrastination!) Well,this year has truly been unique. Today, I was reading an article entitled "25 things that you must do before turning 25" and the person who wrote it mentioned that their worst year ever was when they were 23. For me, it's 24. I am 24 years old and I've never been more lost in my entire life. I am 24 years old and you would think I would have (at least, some of) my shit together by now, but no! The beginning of this year caught me engaged, ready to get married - now I am lost, clueless, single, alone, homeless, broke. And it's not even December yet. God knows what December might bring.  One thing I learned from this year is that expectations almost never turn into reality . I am not saying it's something wrong with setting goals - we all need some purpose in this life, we cannot go