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How to deal with introverts: A five steps guide for dummies*



      First step : Who are they and where do we find them?
   If you enter a room - for example, a school room - you will see people socializing with each other. Small or bigger groups being loud and among these groups you will see infiltrated one person staying alone, probably not talking with anyone.  These people will be either reading a book,using their mobile phones or simply smiling, practicing some nervous habbit ( like bitting one's nails) while listening to the other groups. From my experience I would say that two out of 10 people are introverts and you will find these people spread among the groups, not with each other, at least at the beginning.
    Step number two : What exactly are these weirdos?
 Well, firstly they are not weirdos and they definetely don't like being called/treated as such. During my first high shcool semester, my so-called class master was very worried about me, telling my mother that I hated people and that's why I don't talk to them. If you see these people standing all by themselves, don't make the (stupid) mistake to believe that they hate the rest of 6.(9) billions people in the world! Most introverts are normal people who love other people and who have close friends and keep in touch with their relatives quite often.
   Step number 3 : If they are normal, why in God's name they don't talk???
  You have to understand and accept the fact that by their nature introverts have a hard time socializing. If they don't initiate conversation, it doesn't mean they don't like you, it doesn't even mean that they would rather be left alone! Introverts are usually thinkers and the more you think, the more you realize how imperfect you are. Introverts find it hard to talk to people around them and they also fear they will make mistakes; they also need a reason to talk, they basically hate small talk, talking has to have a meaning for them. For a change, just try talking to one of these people who stay all by themselves; you will see that despite a certain amount of nervousness ( which is higher if they are children or teenager and quite controllable if they are adults), not only they are open-minded people who will talk to you with pleasure, but they are also quite interesting people to talk to; Moreover, since they do more listening than talking, introverts can be great free "shrinks" and you don't even have to worry about everyone knowing your secrets, since they don't talk much, do you? Furthermore, introverts tend to have a higher Iq (fact) and to read more, so when they do start to talk, they can give you some real food for thought.
   Step number 4: What happens next...
  Second semester my class master called my mum and said to her that I became "normal", whatever it is that normal means, right? ( I mean, centuries ago the person who dared to say that the Earth was round had had a hard time, he was certainly considered anything but normal. So kill me if you want, but I don't like or approve with the word "normal", I came to think that if in 21 century you still classify things in normal and not normal, then maybe you should go back in the 15 century. Or kill yourself.) What happens is that after some time your introvert will start feeling more comfortable and they will start talking and when they do start talking, you will have moments when you will beg them to shut up! ( as I imagine my working colleagues have!) Be patient and be sure that when in their comfort zones, they are very friendly and social!
   5. Last but not least...
  Whatever you do, do not judge, and this goes for every minority out there, not only introverts! Accept the fact that everyone is unique and you simply can't divide people in "good" or "bad"; Understand that introverts do have a hard time struggling to "fit in" and they are the ones who get frustrated everytime when all people around them are talking and they are just standing all by themselves. Help them if you want, go sit next to them and initiate a conversation and you will see they are quite friendly. If they are adults, they have already learned by now that they will eventually fit in and become friends with people around them, even if it takes time, so they aren't so stressed, they are just letting things be, instead of thinking about it and putting pressure on themselves; On the other hand, if they are teenagers, they are living a nightmare!!! Be gentle and whatever you do, do not judge!

   * This post is not a scientific, but a personal one.
     Further reading: http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts#.VASEvfl_vhk

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