Sweet dreams

          If I was asked when I was a child what heaven meant to me, I would have given a probably weird answer: sitting all day long - maybe more than one day - in a field full of poppies. There was to me something so fascinating about these flowers that I couldn't help but loving them. As a child I spent maybe too many hours thinking about these flowers and I even recieved them once. When I was 14 and I published my first poetry book( a rather local event, it was never meant to be a bestseller, so it simply wasn't, just a book read by teachers and family, just the dreams of a child.) there was this man - I could call him a family friend, a remote family friend, perhaps - who somehow found out about my obsession with  these flowers and brought me a large bouquet of poppies: it wasn't - of course - the kind of bouquet to give to a young lady, I think, but I was after all a weird girl. Weird flowers for weird girls.     Years later - let's just ...

If I were to chose what are those things that helped me go through my adolescence, I could say music and writing. There were Linkin Park and Green Day and some other weird bands and there were the beautifully colored notebooks that I used to call Diaries. When I walked on the street I listened to music. At home I would listen to music again and I would write. There were so many things I wanted to say to people around me, there were so many ways in which I would have loved to express myself, there were too many times during my literature classes when I knew the answers, I knew exactly how a main character must have felt. I had been that character so many times but yet I had to listen to some people that had no clue and still they were talking. Instead, I was speechless. Speechless all the time, words simply refused to get out of my mouth, the frustration is, therefore, easy to understand.    And then there was my mother, who helped accept myself the way I was. Big words, almos...

  Growing up in Southern Europe, you end up with the strong belief that nordic coutries are sort of Narnia. You know there are Denmark and Sweden and whatever, but in your mind everything is just a big Laponia, whose king is no other than big old Santa Clause. So when last days we celebrated children's day in Japain and we gave every child a free icecream, my boyfriend said: "What if the child is too small to eat icecream?". Naturally, I replied:"There is no such thing! This is Denmark!!! Only the strong survive, these kids are being fed icecream instead of milk! Only the strong survive!"    But I am not ignorant, nor stupid, so chill, dear Danes. There is not my intention to insult you or your beautiful all year around rainy weather(there, I did it again!!). Au contraire, I simply find it fascinating that the weather here is actually the opposite to what I thought before coming here.   Firstly, I am that kind of person that is freezing all the time and only ...

  Why take something that doesn't belong to you? Today I told my boss he put me one extra-hour, by mistake, on the payroll. He was surprised and I am not surprised that he was. He told me that I am very honest, but the truth is I simply don't cut corners when it comes to honesty. I am sure everybody has heard all these horror stories about romanian gipsies who take as much as they can get. Hell, the romanian singer, Puya, says in one of his songs :"when you land on the airport, hold your money tight." Therefore, I will just tell the story of a romanian leader, called Vlad the Impaler, who ruled in the 15 century. The thing about this guy is that, like me, he didn't cut corners when it came to honesty either. Therefore, the stories/historical documents say that he would kill/cut hands/do other horrible stuff to whomever dared to steal. "And he hated evil in his country so much that, if anyone committed some harm, theft or robbery or a lye or an injustice, non...

Everytime somebody asks me : why did you come to Denmark? I blush and I just say: it's a long story. The truth is there are indeed a lot of things to discuss about me coming to Dk , but to cut the long story short, the reason why this question makes me feel embarressed is that I, a reasonable smart girl, moved to freaking Scandinavia because I fell in love.   So 20 years old me quited law school and flew(for the first time!) to Greater Copenhagen. I wanted to study. I asked Denmark : dearie, can I study here? and a very friendly Denmark said :"but of course. Not only you can study, but it will not be that expensive for you, 'cause we have this rule that basically says that people coming from poor countries within Europe to study get a loooooot of tax free. " wooow, Denmark, are you for real?? What kind of sorcery is this???". "Yes, dearie, but be careful, every magic comes with a cost,  when a year will pass, my wicked daughter - Skat - will come  and she w...

The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. Vince Lombardi   I have seen - all of us have - so many people with such a great desire to succeed, struggling so hard to achieve their goal. The trully beautiful thing about these people is that the longer it takes to get there, the greater their will gets. And even though it may take them ages, they will get there eventually. And once they are there, it doesn't really matter that people like me have already been there for a long time.   I don't consider myself a successful person. I was raised to aspire to  great things; I was given the education and I was born with the intelligence to do these  great things. And yet I am making sushi for a living. Maybe for others this means success. For me it doesn't. But I do consider myself that kind of person that can do everything, be one of the best at everything and in quite a short time. U...

It's ok. Now I know. I didn't realize it before or maybe I just wanted to be blind, but the truth is that, indeed, I did put pression on you. Putting so much pressure on me you got hurt. People around me got hurt. The fact is, the mistake was that I trusted you. Not that you actually did something to disappoint me. You were gentle. You care. You are a good person. That is why I realize right now that putting my trust in you was a way too big bargain even for a decent man like you. There are too many bad things that happened, too many so-called daddy issues that made me this way. The girl that gives everything, the girl that saves the day and at the end of the day she still blames herself even for things that were out of her control. You see, to even try to understand me would be a way too demanding job. Even for a decent men. There is nothing sweet about me. I am no hero, no exceptional girl. It's just that when I was five and I started kindergarden my dad said that anythi...