Sweet dreams

 *Caution: this post contains between 10 to 20 times the word "porn".   At first, I was somehow trying to hide it - I mean, it is just a book, but reading it in a public place sort of feels like you're watching porn in public (do you know how sometimes you're using your laptop in public places and you type a link really fast so stupid Chrome doesn't show your porn history? :D no? You don't? ) Somehow - I felt all eyes staring at me - look at her, she reads Fifty shades, she must be a single mom who hasn't had some actions in ages! Then, whenever I was in a place where people we're talking about it, I was reluctant if I should admit that yeeeees, I have read Fifty shades and I freaking fell in love with mister Grey a thousand times! I never wanted to be seen as the typical type of girl - shallow and obsessed with make up, shoes and clothes; That girl was never me - partially because of my own choice, partially out of necessity. I somehow doubt things ...

   There is a list of things I rarely do, only out of necessity, almost never 2 or more in the same day; If I happen to do most of those things during one single day, it definitely means I have an important exam the second day and I am trying to lose time in a different manner than studying, since the more I study, the more I realize I won't be able to catch up with everything, therefore the more nervous I get.  1. Clean. Clean everything. Floor, bathrooms, bedrooms, living room, kitchen, wash clothes, wash clothes again, wash the same clothes again; Clean the FREAKING house down as if tomorrow you are going to get married in that house or Barack Obama will be paying you a visit. 2. Run a freaking 10 K. I have a weird relationship with exercising, meaning that I don't always exercise, but when I do, I overdo it; Somehow, I think I am trying to cheat myself into believing that exercising for two hours in a day can make up for 6 other days/week of having the physical act...

  I know that you know. You know that I know. I see no point in hiding behind the finger. But maybe this is the reason why I keep on losing: maybe I keep on getting beaten because I simply cannot understand nor play this twisted game misleadingly called life. I cannot make sense of the bizarre rules: whoever lies the most wins the big prize. No broken heart, no tears shed; just forge yourself as many masks as you can, hide as well as you can and forget there once existed a simple person called "yourself".     Picture me, if you can - a person who not only cannot lie, but has never told a single lie in 23 years - but just know that if you simply cannot imagine such a person exists and instead you may choose to think I am trying to deceive you, I won't hold any grudge. Just to give you an idea, if you entered a room and asked who farted, I will not hesitate to answer, if it was me - and I am a girl. Once a co-worker asked me how many men I have dated and the reward f...

Today I had a small weird conversation with someone I haven't spoken in years and it ended with him saying "this conversation was a mistake. You're having a toxic approach." Let me explain: all of a sudden this guy starts asking me how I had been, whether or not I was married, if I still lived in Romania or if I had moved abroad; And the fact that I simply couldn't ignore the following things and just keep a cool attitude made him say I was toxic: 1. He was speaking from a Fake Facebook profile, without really telling me who he was, because - quote - "it will no longer be fun!" 2. At some point in our lives (looooong time ago), he made out with two different girls  and he had to make a choice; the choice was the dumber, prettier and closer to him - NOT me, of course. 3. Everytime I see them around, I pretend I have forgotten something ( my brain, probably) in the total opposite direction and so does she. Let me make it easier for you: guy made a cho...

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who ...

Since soon it's Christmas and I will be with my family for Christmas for the first time since 2010 when little brother was a sweet little alien who couldn't even see things clearly, I decided to write a post about what happened in my life lately. Not that people are really interested in my freaking boring life as an introverted, but maybe my humor will make you, guys, smile. :) Things that happen on a daily basis and I am really grateful for: SMILES!!! Of course, I have colleagues with whom I haven't spoken yet (and probably won't for a couple more months when I'll be comfortable enough and I won't shut up!), but they are all so sweet and they smile at me all the time, without telling me that I must hate people for being so quiet or calling me a weirdo for not enjoying parties - I am truly thankful for that, thank you, guys! I mean - when I am being approached, my mind reacts really strange: if I don't feel truly comfortable with you, I will go like bla b...

  * caution, this post may contain traces of obscene language!     When I simply feel too exhausted to read or even to watch a movie, yet too high on coffee to get some valuable sleep, I indulge myself with reading some of the posts on the forum "Romanians in Denmark". I used the word "indulge" because I shouldn't do it; after a good laugh, my childish inner self starts feeling miserable.    So - except the rare extraordinary times when we bond together to start a freaking Revolution, we really don't like each other that much. It seems like when we have finally found a person that all of us hate the most - in this particular case, the Prime Minister, we are more united than we've ever been and we turn all of a sudden into the most consolidated nation, on the very principle " My enemy's enemy is my friend."  Unfortunately, this is not how things stand in general. That being said - this post is not about my personal feelings, but some obs...