Sweet dreams

Yes , yes, yes, I know - you, just like many others (I hate to burst your bubble, but you are not the only one completely despising this day!) think that Valentine's day is a commercial celebration designed to make rich people even richer and poor people - well - even poorer. True, true, true. And if you know me a tiny bit, you would know that not only do I think it's huge horse shit, but I am also proud to say I have never celebrated this day. Why? 1. Well. In my previous relationship, I was, every once in a while, surprised with flowers and/or chocolate, regardless of the day of the year. 14th February, 9th of May or 12th of August - if he loves me, he shows it, regardless. 2. Flowers are nice (I ADORE flowers, I am not the punk gothic emo some people think I am - or maybe I used to be back in high school.) Chocolate is adorable, but these don't really matter much. Of course, they are small gestures that will melt my soft heart - but it's actually what he does every...

   When I turned 24, I had this idea of writing a letter to my future self. If I recall correctly, it wasn't exactly on my birthday that I had this thought, though - on my birthday, which only happened half a year ago, I was still innocent as a new born. Then, not even two months later, hell unleashed and my life changed in matters I could have never foreseen. I woke up on 1th of January 2016 realizing that 2015 was a year charged with so many changes that I ended up laughing while I was checking my reflection in the mirror. I wasn't capable of identifying myself with my past - few were the moments that felt real up until this point, I was sure my life had been a movie I once saw and I truly connected with, yet I could not remember much of it. Like that Mr. Nobody  movie, that resonated so much with my soul. I realized I lost every trace of steadiness I once fought so hard for : I spent Christmas (one of most important days of the year, let's not forget that while I a...

  You told me Boulevard of Broken Dreams was the freaking anthem for outsiders. I got a bit pissed, showed you the middle finger, but then, I had no other choice than admit to myself - yes, I have always been an outsider.    People think I am taking pride in being an outsider and they couldn't be more right. We talk about gay and gay pride - how pride and happy and joyful gay people were when they finally felt free to come out of the closet. Similar to that, we have "introversion pride" - when, for your whole your life, people made you feel ashamed for prefering to be alone or with a small group of friends than surrounded by many unknown people and then, all of a sudden, everyone acknowledges introverts, you take pride in that. Yes, I am an introverted - no, it does not mean I hate people, nor does it mean I am shy. What it means is that, despite learning a lot from and also enjoying to some extent social interactions, we, introverts, unlike extroverts, recharge our ene...

   Man, 2015 was a really peculiar year and I haven't even managed to make my resolutions! (Yes, I, too, suffer from the chronic disease most youth do - procrastination!) Well,this year has truly been unique. Today, I was reading an article entitled "25 things that you must do before turning 25" and the person who wrote it mentioned that their worst year ever was when they were 23. For me, it's 24. I am 24 years old and I've never been more lost in my entire life. I am 24 years old and you would think I would have (at least, some of) my shit together by now, but no! The beginning of this year caught me engaged, ready to get married - now I am lost, clueless, single, alone, homeless, broke. And it's not even December yet. God knows what December might bring.  One thing I learned from this year is that expectations almost never turn into reality . I am not saying it's something wrong with setting goals - we all need some purpose in this life, we cannot go ...

  How to recover after you had your heart broken - how to be SINGLE, for morons. 1. Run. I run like a freaking maniac, every day breaking records. I run on rain, I run on snow - as long as there is someone screaming in my ears, I keep on going. 2. Eat. I nurture myself with lots of good, delicious, healthy, but mostly unhealthy foods. Whenever one of my friends asks me what is happening with me, I simply answer that I ran a lot, so now I must eat, I don't want to lose any of my precious kilos, it's all about balance, right?! 3. Sleep. Guilt-free sleep is a luxury I rarely afford - nevertheless, these days I sleep. All the time, I close my eyes and I let my mind do the trick for me and make my life prettier. 4. Drink a glass of wine with the good food you are preparing for yourself. You obviously deserve it, but don't do vodka shots! Forgetting all about it for one night sure sounds tempting, but remember you have to wake up in the morning to the same ugly truth. Better ...

   Do you remember the guy that made you smile every day until you just woke up one morning and realized it was simply not enough?  Do you remember the one that got away?  Do you remember the boy with gray eyes?    I have come to realize that we are the generation that doesn't know how to grow up. We are the "forever childish"  generation; not that it is something wrong with that -  if only we stopped tricking ourselves into thinking it's a conscious choice,  if only we were able to admit that we have no idea whatsover how to become adults!    But I cannot lie to myself anymore,  nor can I drag this on forever.  I am no longer a child,  neither are you -  despite how much you would like to be!  I know,  my friend,  it's a terryfing truth I am telling you and you might choose to deny it with a bad joke and a loud laugh,  as you've done so many times before,  but the truth remains the tru...

     Miros de urina       Mi-am amintit recent de primul barbat cu care am facut dragoste...Era frumos, masculin, cu parul ciufulit si ochii gri. Da, avea ochii gri. Nu caprui, nu negri. Erau gri, inexpresivi si lipsiti de viata. Nu am crezut atunci si nici macar acum nu cred ca omul acela era pamantean. Cu siguranta trebuie sa fi venit dintr-un alt Univers.    Era vara si erau zilele orasului...Oamenii se imbulzeau cu totii peste tot-copiii vroiau vata de zahar si porumb fiert, jucarii de prost gust, luminite de tot felul, care se stricau imediat dupa ce le cumparai...Adultii, minoritatea venisera acolo pentru copiii lor, iar majoritatea stateau in grupuri mari, fumau, se imbatau si injurau domnisoarele care treceau pe acolo. Am in minte atat de clara imaginea acelor zile de parca totul s-ar fi intamplat chiar ieri. De fapt si acum, dupa atatia ani, este exact la fel.    Dar atunci eram cu tata...El se intalnise cu un cuno...